REMINISCENCE

A little nostalgic touch for a very quiet morning...

Blessed Are The Forgetful

image from wallacy13.tumblr.com

I know that most of the time, I am so very lame at letting go of something. Even if it leaves me with nothing but broken hearted. Sometime, you can just inadvertently put too much expectation on someone or something, so that you lose perspective on what's real and what's not, or what's really going on outside of your mind.

And sometime, no matter how confident you are to tell the world that you know someone so very well, there will come a time when you feel like you don't know that person anymore.

But, hey, we are strong. This is life. We can't afford to stay stuck in the past. We move and we move and we move forward.  

"What a loss to spend that much time with someone, only to find out that she's a stranger." - Joel Barish, Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind (2004)

Infatuation

"When you develope an infatuation for someone, you always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you. It doesn't need to be a good reason. Taking photographs of the night sky for example. Now in the long run, that's just the kind of dumb, irritating habit that would cause you to split up. But in the haze of infatuation, it's just what you've been searching for all these years." ~ Richard (The Beach, 2000)

image from everydaypeoplecartoons.com

“Infatuation love is equivalent to being head over heels over the person for no apparent reasons. True love is knowing the person inside out and still loving him as much as you do the first time you set eyes on him.” 

~ Joel Guo

How To Save Your Melted Heart

image from helentoons.com

So tell me, how do you prevent your self from having a crush on someone when he/she consistently stuns you with the charm?

If anybody have any idea, please lemme know.

The Devil On My Back

"And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh woah

I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
Cause I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn"

Okay, I know that I can be a 'lil bit obsessed about something or someone. But this girl, her lyrics never fails to mesmerize me.

The Missing Boy

cheerfulcurmudgeon.com

So, my boyfriend was missing in action for a whole week couple weeks ago. He didn't answer my calls or even reply my texts. I was angry before, but then I went into panic mode. My pals fed me up with some whimsical thoughts (maybe he's got amnesia from an accident or maybe he's got brainwashed by a cult and forgot all about his past life).

Last time we chat, everyting's okay so I have no clue what's gotten into him. At first I thought he's already fallen asleep that he didn't pick up his phone. Day after that, when there's still no words from him, I still waiting patiently. But two days later, when I once again texted him and still got no feedback, I went angry and frustrated.

I just miss him so much and it drives me crazy. When he finally called, I just feel so relieve that I couldn't even tell him how mad I was. I don't know if I'll ever get used with how this relationship works. All I know is just to hang on as long as I can.

Oh, and this is something I can learn from a TV series I watched before. I think it has a correlation with my situation in a way or another.

"...Maybe we are the way we are because of the people we're with. Or maybe we just pick the people we need. However it works, when you find each other, you should never let go...." (Modern Family, episode 22: Good Cop Bad Dog)

Love In Limbo

image from cartoonstock.com

You've failed me again, dear, big time. It is time for me now to hit the brake and stop before we turn into a total fiasco.

We're On Our Own

"Tell me if it's true, that I need you, you are changing.

I've seen this world before down on this floor... It is hurting me.

All I want is someone who can fill the hole in the life I know.

In between life and death, when there's nothing left, do you wanna know?"

Hufff

image from everydaypeoplecartoons.com

Long distance relationship is obviously not a piece of cake. I don't know how to survive going through this situation. It's just so very frustrating. I'm depressed.

If You

If you can't let go, I can't let you in.

Blah-blahh...

I feel like I should write something smart tonight, but I can't think of anything like it. So, I'm just gonna feed you all up with some random thoughts. Forgive the stupidity, here we go:

Florence Welch is the coolest girl on the planet. Just check out her music below.

 

Guilt is the most useless emotion. But to feel nothing is even worse.

image from everydaypeoplecartoons.com

  

Cute guys are scary. I'm afraid they're going to haunt me.

image from breesays-hotguys.buzznet.com

Daniel Craig is the sexiest man alive. Don't argue.

image from bleedingcool.com

The second place went to Wentworth Miller before I found out that he's gay *sigh.

image from trendland.net

Once you break your promise, it can never be fixed. Do you feel me?

image from cartoonstock.com

And I

Hate it so good that you're not around.

Let It Begin

So we've sealed the deal. But the idea of me being your girlfriend never came across my mind before. There are so many things I still need to figure out about this kind of relationship. Where it's gonna take us, it's still a mystery. Let time be the only answer of that.

But lemme assure you this, I have all of good intentions in the world to let it begin. So let it be what it's gonna be. Let's walk down this path together, you and I, side by side.

Supermagnificently Beautiful

"Hey I've got a pistol that's aimed at your heart
And on dark nights when the moon is right
I could show you
The head attached with a scarf
Aerophane sorceress, at home obeying the fates
When it's gone, has it gone all the way?"

This song is supermagnificently beautiful, don't you think? I get this mixed up feeling that runs and flows through me everytime I hear it. Splendid.

Damien and the Tree

"So fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
And all we've been through
I said leave it, leave it, leave it,
It's nothing to you
And if you hate me, hate me, hate me,
Then hate me so good that you can let me out, let me out, let me out
Let me out of this hell when you're around"

The Chicken Tale

image from cartoonstock.com

I wish I was ready to take head on anything that was thrown my way. Now all I have is just this serious regret for all things I took for granted in life. For whatever the reason is, I feel deeply sorry that I chickened out.

Tomorrow, We'll Be Okay

image from layoutsparks.com

     "Kita berhenti."

     "Aku tahu. Kau tahu penyebabnya?"

     "Hujan."

     "Kupikir juga begitu. Apa kita tidak bisa melewati jalan ini?"

     "Tidak, jalannya buruk sekali."

     "Jadi, apa rencana kita?"

     "Kita akan menunggu sampai besok, menunggu hujan reda, menunggu jalan kering, lalu berangkat lagi."

     "Coba kuulang. Satu-satunya pilihan kita adalah berharap hujan akan reda besok, berharap matahari akan muncul dan cukup mengeringkan jalan agar kita bisa berangkat lagi?"

     "Ya?"

      "Dan jika hujan tidak reda?"

     "Kita akan menunggu."

     "Kita akan menunggu?"

     "Kita akan menunggu."

(Honeymoon with My Brother, pg. 455, Franz Wisner)

Please excuse me on this one, but I'm severely lazy to use my brain to translate those paragraphs above. It comes from one of my favorite book, Honeymoon with My Brother, written by Franz Wisner.

All of us, at some points, I believe, might had had a hard time in our lives. Maybe it's when you want something so badly but it never shows up, no matter how hard you try and beg and pray for it every day and night. Or maybe it's when you lose something or someone really special that you can't replace. 

Sometimes, all we've got to do is just to lay down and waiting. Waiting for the rain to stop and the storm to end, until the sky is clear again.

If Only

image from toonpool.com

“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.” – Mercedes Lackey

The Magic Words

image from prometheuscomic.wordpress.com

So, it kinda hurts, doesn't it? To be ignored by someone you care about. To be whining while no one's listening. Boy, it sucks to be you now, don't you think? Eat that.

Life's cruel, some say. But I think you already knew that.

Regrets. Spell the magic words, I might forgive you someday.

Don't Ask

image from explosm.net

I know that when people asking me about my life, that's because they care. But, sometimes I'd like to keep things for my self. 

Constant curiosity is just plain annoying. It's severely uncool, man. 

I refuse to answer. 

Period.

Stay

image from dreaminginthedeepsouth.tumblr.com

Holaaaaa..It's been a while, no? No. Okay.

So, there's a few things going on lately. 'Lil bit busy, of course. But still I manage to have fun. Procrastinating me, duh. 

Now, I wanna talk about comfort zone. Everyone wants to feel comfortable, right? So do I. That's why I find it so hard for me to get my ass off my current job. 

I can name billion reasons to not quitting my job. I like it here. I love my coworkers, I love my narrow table and my old computer on top of it, I love the buzzing sound from the air-con units across the room, I love how I can wake up at 10 am every morning then dragging my ass to office midday (OK, that's not really cool), I love the noise when people talking about the news or even gossiping. Hmmm...what else, what else....

Well, it might be not exactly billion of reasons. But, sure it's good enough to hold me from leaving.

Look, Man

image from deejreviews.com

''Sometimes, you just gotta roll the dice.'' (Paul-Paul)

That Time of Year

It's that time of year again. Let's welcome the first day of Ramadan. Happy fasting everyone :)

What You've Done to Me

image from scrivle.com

All I know is that you've made my heart pounding violently faster than ever before, as you sat right next to me, chewing your food indifferently.

When I'm Blue

I don't know why I always listen to this song everytime I 'm feeling blue. Like today, thanks to you. Maps by Yeah Yeah Yeahs, everyone. Enjoy!

It's Alright, It's Alright

I'll be your respirator
I'll be your pressure suit

(Pressure Suit-Aqualung)

Shoo, You, Don't Bother Me

Dear you, I've officially deleted you from my life you know. Now shoo, you, don't bother me!

The Tale of Gajah Tujuh Koto

image from carylane.net

Once upon a time, there was a tiny baby elephant that got lost from the forest and landed somewhere in the small village of Tujuh Koto, Jambi. A man named Hambali, who's happen to be my dad, served as subdistrict head at that particular time. So he captured the elephant, took care of it and named him Tujuh Koto.

I remember him only indistinctly, standing alone in a yard. They put a cuff around his leg attached to a big chain and tied it to a tree. I came to see that poor little elephant several times with my dad and my little sister. But then they moved it to a zoo in the city.

When I was in college, I told my friends that my father once captured an elephant back in our hometown and they laughed their ass off. In their imagination, I lived in a secluded island that I need to travel miles away through fire and water just to see my neighbour. Then I like, do'oh!

The end.

Hell-O-Life

image from Hallmark via sweetonveg.com

Why can't I just be satisfied with what I have? Yesterday I texted an old friend of mine just to say hello. When she asked me how I'm doing I just couldn't help but to blurt about my boredoom and the urgency to find a new experience, a new job, a new life and love and anything that I won't feel so stuck anymore.

And then I asked her how she's doing, how's life, and she replied, ''Me, I'm just grateful with everything I have."

Just so you know, her ex-husband left her with their new born child when she was 23 year old. Her foster family kicked her out from house soon after they found out that she got pregnant. She was homeless and lost but still she managed to get back on her foot again and survive.

That was it. I feel so ashamed. She reminds me that life ain't a fairytale.

Cute Lil'Boy

O, how I miss this cute lil'boy

Go With Us To Bremen

image from wellsphere.com

I'm having the symptoms all over again: trouble sleeping, wake up after 10 AM, come to office midday then go home before dusk. I scratch my skin while I fall asleep and I have this fatigue all day long. I get irritated easily, which means just one thing: I'm in stress. I need vacation.

So, dear God, please lemme have my day off. Amen.

Cupid de Locke (Smashing Pumpkins)

Cupid hath pulled back his sweetheart's bow
To cast divine arrows into her soul
To grab her attention swift and quick
Or morrow the marrow of her bones be thick
With turpentine kisses and mistaken blows

See the devil may do as the devil may care
He loves none sweeter as sweeter the dare
Her mouth the mischief he doth seek
Her heart the captive of which he speaks
So note all ye lovers in love with the sound
Your world be shattered with nary a note
Of one cupids arrow under your coat

And in the land of star crossed lovers
And barren hearted wanderers
Forever lost in forsaken missives and Satan's pull
We seek the unseekable and we speak the unspeakable
Our hopes dead gathering dust to dust
In faith, in compassion, and in love.

Life In A Station

 Life is the train, not the station. (Paulo Coelho) 

Okay dear, let me break it down to you this way.

First of all, heart doesn't wait forever. You had your chance and you ruined it. So, shame on you.

Second of all, no one can put their life on hold for far too long the way you made me do.

See, life is a train as Coelho said. The clock is tick-tick-tickin'... People running, while I'm here crawling.

For heaven's sake, once in my life, I don't wanna be late. I can't be late, I must chase it. But, I should think that you must not. Maybe, we're just heading to different station.

So, this is it. Let's just say goodbye, right here, right now, in this very moment. No need to pray that someday, somehow, we'll bump into each other ever again. And don't say something nice just because you can't help it.

If we happen to be crossing our path again in a way the universe always jokes, let's just pretend we never know each other. 

So, yeah. Adios. 

Last Ghost Down

So long, Abraham. Hello, life.

The Heartbreaking Dreams

HOLAAAA!

It's been quite a while since my last post, eh? Well, blame me not. I'm little bit occupied lately, you know, with work and other things.

So, a friend of mine finally got married yesterday and we're so very happy for him--and his bride of course. We wish you both to have a happy marriage life, guys *wink-wink

Now, let's change the subject. I wanna talk about dreams. Two days ago I watched a movie tittled Morning Glory. The story itself has failed to wowed me. But, there's a quote that I really really love from the movie:

"You had a dream, you know? Great. When you were eight, it was adorable. When you were 18, it was inspiring. At 28, it's officially embarassing. And I just want you to stop before we get to heartbreaking."

Then help me, God, for I have so many dreams.

Speed Dial # 1

the dwarf & the giant :D

Years later and I still put your phone number as my speed dial. I heart you Diade *hugs&kisses

Hear Me Not, Am Just Babbling

bla-bla-blah...

Lemme tell you this, am so good at telling people what to do and/or not to do with their love lives. But, this is the irony, me my self can't even handle my own feeling and emotion when it comes to romance. Let alone keeping a cool head about it.

But, still I manage to make a few friends listening to me babbling about love and chemistry and another cheesy stuffs. Like, really, guys. Wake up. Let's not eat that up straight away just like that! I don't even know what am talking about. I just made that up, am tellin' ya.

Va-va-valentine!

Okay, okay... Attention, everyone. So, this is what I want for my Valentine's Day present, a cute fixie nahahahhaahha *crossing fingers :p

'Let Me In' (2010): What Wouldn't You Do for Love?

Some say it's horror, some say it's scarry. I say it's kinda sweet, disturbingly romantic. From kids' perspective, maybe we're all innocent.

Directed by Matt Reeves, Let Me In (2010) is a remake from the 2008 Swedish movie titled Låt den rätte komma in (Let the Right One In). Starring Kodi Smit-McPhee as a twelve year old boy named Owen, this movie tells the story about his friendship with a little vampire girl named Abby (Chloë Grace Moretz).

Owen, a lonely boy who had been bullied by his cruel friends at school, lived in a flat with his soon to be divorced mom. One night, while he was peering at neighbours with a telescope from bedroom window, he saw an old man and a little girl moving in to a flat next to them.

At first, he felt pity on that girl for he noticed that she was walking barefoot in the cold snow. Something wasn't right, he sensed. Maybe that little girl had been harrashed by her daddy.

Night after that, when he played alone outside, that little girl approaching him in the yard. They soon made friends, but that was just before strange things starting to happen. There was several murders occurred in their neighbourhood. The first victim was a teenage schoolboy, the second one was a man living in the same building as theirs.

But don't expect the story with such a twisted plot, 'cos Reeves makes it very clear from the very beginning. He shows us who did it. There's no mistery at all, except, maybe, the true relation between the old man and the little girl. 

What I like about this movie is that it gives you a glimpse to puppy love romance, an experience that you may have had when you were younger. But, I personally think this movie is a way too brutal. I mean, this boy Owen, how could he just watching people bleeding, screaming, dying in front of his eyes, and didn't do anything to stop it.  And still he fell in love with that girl who did all of those cruel things. Blah, what a maniac!

If you like the kind of dark, quiet, gloomy movie, then maybe this one is your cup of tea. Oh, and I just knew that we don't have to be afraid of vampire entering our house, 'cos they can't come in if you don't let them in. So, forget about garlic! *yeah

Talk About Fate

"Even fate has its own favourite..." - Megamind

The Birthday Girl

Ladies and gentlemen, meet my lovely friend, Dinda. Yes, she's our birthday girl for today. Well, not precisely today, I mean yesterday. She celebrated her 25th birthday on 29 January 2011. 

The first time I met her, she showed me her grumpy face that I decided not to say hello to her. I was a newbie in the office back then, and she'd been working there for almost a year before me. But, we finally made friends and started to hanging out together, even after she moved to another company and got herself a new job.

We both love doing some unimportant things like driving around in her car, screaming, looking for the traveling circus in town, eating--a lot of eating--and of course, hanging around in the coffee shop.

Well, I can't write much about her rite now 'coz I've still got other things to do, like make some phone calls and write the story that's been asked by my editor. So, I'm just gonna say "HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR DINDA AND CONGRATULATION, YOU'RE OFFICIALY OLD!!! WISH YOU ALL THE BEST!" *smooch 

Ciao for now.   

Past Midnite

So, it's past midnite and I'm still stuck here in the office. Well, I'm not really working actually, just sitting here, googling my name and blog walking. You know, try to killing time and keep my self busy until my shift is over.

Okay, so I still have 35 more minutes to go...

Hmmm... what's important, what's important.

Nothing.

Nada.

I'm blank.

This is pathetic.

The Dragon Girl

So, waddya think 'bout her hairstyle? Could it be the next hair trend?

Rooney Mara as the Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. 

(Photographs by Jean-Baptiste Mondino, W Magazine)

Fell In Love With A House

Me want this house.

Yes, this house. Recognize it, anyone?

Tadaaa.. Yes, it's from the Twilight movie :p

Easy Like Sunday Morning

So, this is one shady Sunday and I feel soooo lazy to do anything. But, I know that I've got to move my ass off the bed and do something fun to boost my mood. Now that I've got myself thinking, these are stuffs I'm going to do to save the day:

• dye my hair
• go for window shopping and buy something cheap so I won't feel so bad about myself
• get a friend a present she's long wanted--ups, I shouldn't have said it, should I?
• buy myself a really nice cup of coffee
• go to the park and watching people while I'm making up stories about them

Now, I really have to jump up out the bed and take a quick shower before I go. Have a breezy Sunday, everyone :)

Cranky

Don't mess with meeehh!!

Me and the Matchmakers

I used to laugh my ass off every time anyone trying to match me up with someone. My big sister and her now husband and some of my best friends, they've always had this sometimes annoying initiative to introduce me to someone, whom they think would meet my approval. But most time, their missions ended up with failures.

In some cases, I didn't like the guy. Or if I did like the guy, he didn't like me back. And he turned out to be a jerk. And I'd be so pissed that I would happily punch him on the face if I bumped into him on a street.

But, as I get older, I'm starting to think that matchmaking thing as an option. That's most likely what will happen to you when your mother starts to talk the talk. You know 'the talk', right? It's a kind of conversation you're having with your mom, as she saw all of your friends get married, and you're the only single lady left in a room full of happy couples.

You tell her that you still enjoying it. You just love going solo. And you know that you're okay. But, hell, when people pressing you by constantly asking about your boyfriend, you get tired. And you begin to questioning your self.

What is so wrong with you that no one seems to understand your decision to be single? Or, what is so wrong with you that the only guy you put your heart on to, doesn't even seem to give a 'lil damn about you?

So, what I'm trying to say here, it's perfectly okay for us to choose to going our way. To be single and do whatever we wanna do freely. But, it's also okay for you to ask your friends to match you up with several potential boyfriends, for the sake of your mother :p