Off You Go

I really hate it when my workmates walked up behind my cubicle and stretched their head over my shoulder to peer into my computer screen.  I mean, what if I was about to write some nasty things about them in my blog at that particular moment? It would really hurt our relationship if they found out, right?

Now, I seriously have no idea what turns me into such a beeyotch. 

Off you go, wicked-witch!

Maybe

So, I've finally found my next exit. I submitted my resignation letter yesterday and it was blithesome. Sure it drawn a mixed comments. My dear, dear friend Tia said, "PAAARTYYY!" While another friend replied, "Is it weird if I say 'hurray'? I really don't know what to say."

Most people asked me, "Why so sudden?" And I was like, "Well, I've been dreaming about it for months. So you do the math, sweetheart!"

Life is too short to be wasted away by doing things you don't like. So what I'm gonna do next is to find my true calling, my niche. Manipulating people is obviously not my strong suit. Maybe I'm destined to be a professional dreamer who sells dreams to people who can no longer dreaming. Or I can always join a traveling circus, pretending to be a sad sad clown.  

Maybe. 

image from guardian.co.uk

Then You Cracked A Smile

Dear A,

Isn't it funny how simple things can just stick like glue in your head for quite some time? Like the way you wore your white t-shirt and blue jeans that night, or the way you waved your hand in hesitation the second time we met. 

I can still remember the look on your face, a deep heavy voice, a few gray strands here and there, and those curious, confused slanted eyes. 

Then you cracked a smile.

And I chuckled.

Fare You Well

So it turns out that the rumor is true, eh, Elmo? You're leaving. I'm not gonna get to see you again. Well, I'm leaving too. Better jump out of the sinking ship before it's buried at the bottom of the ocean, no? But I hate the way you keep it secret given the fact that you often come to me for newspapers with your hello-apa-kabar phrase that drives me nuts. I think I'm gonna miss it tho. 

I think I'm gonna miss you.

Affair of The Heart

When married people having an affair, they show these little traits: they talk on the phone for hours and can't wipe that stupid smile off their face while they stare at computer screen, dark spot on the wall, or their toe caps. You know that he/she is having an affair because married people lost their sparks past their honeymoon phase. 

Well I'm not married nor in a serious relationship right now, I'm just a pessimist when it comes to marriage or monogamous relationship. I was in a long distance relationship once and I gave that up. I had this trust issue and couldn't cope with that. So I decided to give up what I once thought a true love. 

The funny thing is, I always considered my self as the faithful type until a friend of mine told me the opposite. 

"Hey, do you think I'm a faithful lover?" I rambled one night just before we fell asleep. "No, you're absolutely not," she laughed when I gaped aghast. 

"B-but... I've never cheated," I said defensively, trying in vain to save my dignity. "Yeah, there are many forms of infidelity. If it's not physical, then it's emotional. I don't know which category you fall into," she continued. In general, infidelity is a violation of trust. And there is no point in keeping the damaged one.

"So, why are we talking about this matter anyway?" you ask. 

Well, because, I was passing in front of this guy's office and I saw him blushing when he spoke on the phone with such soft voice. So I thought, okay, he must be talking to his mistress. >:)

Dude, Where's My Kue Pancong?

And what happens with my pageviews? It suddenly turns to zero. 

Anyway, let's have a serious talk about feelings here. It's been quite a while since I stop being melancholic. I was a queen of melancholy back then, who wrote forlorn poems and a pile of love letters that have never been sent. I was stuck in dreary routine of working, dreaming a little dream of you, and trying to sleep. But, oddly, I was content. Yes, I was sad and lonely and scared to death about the future. But at least I could still feel something even if it hurts. 

Emotions. Something that makes me human. I think I've lost them. Where do I seek for it again?

Okaaaayyyy

Now I feel like a cynical hellcat after posting it. Must be my premenstrual syndrome. Je suis désolée :(

Here's picture of me and my baby nephew: