The Devil Was Once An Angel

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So, yeah, people do lie and cheat and stab you in the back and blame everyone but themselves. As the saying goes: be careful who you trust, the devil was once an angel.

Are We Slaves?

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You know what I hate the most about working at a family company? That the owners can set some crappy regulations any way they like.

Working on holiday? 

C'mon. ARE WE SLAAAVES???

It's Getting A Way Too Noisy Out Here

Really am in a bad mood today, like desperately need to punch someone in the face just to make my day. So sick of everything. I just want to lay my head on the ground, close my eyes and shut the world down. 

Don't Test Me

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The last thing I want to do is cuss someone out every time I need to get some stuff done on time. But this fucking amateur really really knows how to irritate people and make them lose their temper.

I mean, come on, let's act like professionals here. You've been paid to do your job so do it! Otherwise, just send your resignation letter and leave. 

Or be dead. Whatever. I don't care.

Let It Go

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>:(

What a prick!

Life Is

;)

The Newbie

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My second week at the new office. I almost forgot how it feels like to be a working girl, to be having to rise early in the morning and stay up late. It sure as hell is a total nightmare. And the traffic is still awful. The workload is a bit crazy, but the new people are fun to be with. 

I think I'm gonna love it here. Let's see how it goes, shall we?

The Enlightenment

Now I know why people get divorced.

Boy, Please

Unless you live in your own apartment, do not walking around wrapped in nothing but a piece of towel. It really hurts my eyes. Period.

To Grow Up

"The past in not a problem unless you live in it." - James Wood

I'm sorry for everything I did wrong. I was young and reckless and lulled into a fantasy world where everyone's life seems so better than mine.

Like A Ghost

Woke up in cold sweat, never fully asleep. Soft pat on my back, it was you, wasn't it? I can still feel it, vividly. Choking me with unusual feelings.

Ah, but they all are too familiar, aren't they?

Ghost leaves its mark and it's burdensome. But someday, somehow, we're going to be the one who forgets.

December

"The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that." – Woody Allen


And that's that, A.

Gaaahhhhh

I can't stand the marketing people. They talk too much, feed you up with slides, and won't stop blabbering even when you give them a fucking bored face at a meeting. And they will chase you down like a hunter, popping up at your office when you least expect it and say things like,"Yeah, I was in the neighborhood and I thought, why don't I pay you a visit?" 

You were in the neighborhood? Seriously, dude? And that makes it okay for you to come without any appointment whatsoever? Like I have nothing else to do but to welcoming you at my office. 

No, seriously. Is that a standard opening line for you guys or what? 'Cos I've heard that line coming from every marketing people I know to justify their presence. 

A little advice from me, guys. Next time, pick a new line. Be creative and stop fooling around. 

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Off You Go

I really hate it when my workmates walked up behind my cubicle and stretched their head over my shoulder to peer into my computer screen.  I mean, what if I was about to write some nasty things about them in my blog at that particular moment? It would really hurt our relationship if they found out, right?

Now, I seriously have no idea what turns me into such a beeyotch. 

Off you go, wicked-witch!

Maybe

So, I've finally found my next exit. I submitted my resignation letter yesterday and it was blithesome. Sure it drawn a mixed comments. My dear, dear friend Tia said, "PAAARTYYY!" While another friend replied, "Is it weird if I say 'hurray'? I really don't know what to say."

Most people asked me, "Why so sudden?" And I was like, "Well, I've been dreaming about it for months. So you do the math, sweetheart!"

Life is too short to be wasted away by doing things you don't like. So what I'm gonna do next is to find my true calling, my niche. Manipulating people is obviously not my strong suit. Maybe I'm destined to be a professional dreamer who sells dreams to people who can no longer dreaming. Or I can always join a traveling circus, pretending to be a sad sad clown.  

Maybe. 

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Then You Cracked A Smile

Dear A,

Isn't it funny how simple things can just stick like glue in your head for quite some time? Like the way you wore your white t-shirt and blue jeans that night, or the way you waved your hand in hesitation the second time we met. 

I can still remember the look on your face, a deep heavy voice, a few gray strands here and there, and those curious, confused slanted eyes. 

Then you cracked a smile.

And I chuckled.

Fare You Well

So it turns out that the rumor is true, eh, Elmo? You're leaving. I'm not gonna get to see you again. Well, I'm leaving too. Better jump out of the sinking ship before it's buried at the bottom of the ocean, no? But I hate the way you keep it secret given the fact that you often come to me for newspapers with your hello-apa-kabar phrase that drives me nuts. I think I'm gonna miss it tho. 

I think I'm gonna miss you.

Affair of The Heart

When married people having an affair, they show these little traits: they talk on the phone for hours and can't wipe that stupid smile off their face while they stare at computer screen, dark spot on the wall, or their toe caps. You know that he/she is having an affair because married people lost their sparks past their honeymoon phase. 

Well I'm not married nor in a serious relationship right now, I'm just a pessimist when it comes to marriage or monogamous relationship. I was in a long distance relationship once and I gave that up. I had this trust issue and couldn't cope with that. So I decided to give up what I once thought a true love. 

The funny thing is, I always considered my self as the faithful type until a friend of mine told me the opposite. 

"Hey, do you think I'm a faithful lover?" I rambled one night just before we fell asleep. "No, you're absolutely not," she laughed when I gaped aghast. 

"B-but... I've never cheated," I said defensively, trying in vain to save my dignity. "Yeah, there are many forms of infidelity. If it's not physical, then it's emotional. I don't know which category you fall into," she continued. In general, infidelity is a violation of trust. And there is no point in keeping the damaged one.

"So, why are we talking about this matter anyway?" you ask. 

Well, because, I was passing in front of this guy's office and I saw him blushing when he spoke on the phone with such soft voice. So I thought, okay, he must be talking to his mistress. >:)

Dude, Where's My Kue Pancong?

And what happens with my pageviews? It suddenly turns to zero. 

Anyway, let's have a serious talk about feelings here. It's been quite a while since I stop being melancholic. I was a queen of melancholy back then, who wrote forlorn poems and a pile of love letters that have never been sent. I was stuck in dreary routine of working, dreaming a little dream of you, and trying to sleep. But, oddly, I was content. Yes, I was sad and lonely and scared to death about the future. But at least I could still feel something even if it hurts. 

Emotions. Something that makes me human. I think I've lost them. Where do I seek for it again?